V In The End, At The Start
Glancing back to life in Jogja, a mixture of millions of different emotions fill my mind. I am now entering a very different phase of life and moving to an entirely different world –this time completely detached from that previous phase. For me, the previous phase was full of people whom were dedicated to care for us –or at least paid to do so, whatever the quality of their service eventually shows. Life was one class after another, despite having so many extracurricular activities.
Through out that time, one must really plan out their studies and activities especially for two particular purposes: identifying who they really are, and preparing whatever they can to ensure the significance of that identity they found.
After obtaining an undergraduate degree, I think people will move to a phase which many call “the real world”. Here, the only person that will want to care for us would be our parents and the government. They both may do it the wrong way, but they do –allegedly at least—try their best. But other than that, it is a huge battlefield. The purest display of homo homini lupus (a wolf is a homo to each other. They f*ck each other, depending which way is better) will be rampant. Everyone will be fighting against each other, maybe forming alliances whenever it is to their best interest only.
In a globalized era where everything moves so quickly, those who fails to keep pace will be trampled down by time and people. It is a basic theory of economy that there is simply not enough resources for all of us, so we must fight. In this phase of life, the power of pragmatism and the reality of the “survival of the fittest” doctrine will show its true strength.
From what I have learned in the Department of Physics, the feasibility of intentions rely on a cold and concrete logic of physics and mathematics. Anything could be done with enough energy, strength and momentum. There is no right or wrong, only possible or not. In fact through discussions with many parties, I learned that when you think you are right then there is no reason to associate with the wrong or even listen to them.
Furtherly from English Debating and Model United Nations, I learned that everything has two sides of perspective. Right or wrong is simply a matter of persuasion and negotation. And under that notion, then we can have laws which are legally binding, teaches the Faculty of Law.
To this point, all seems in favor of a person to do as much as they can to fight in life’s battle only considering how to win –and if necessary, how to kill. Values of kindness and virtue and justice seem to fade away and even frowned upon as has become such an insignificant minority –in fact it has become an oddity.
However, I refuse to believe that such views are true. From the department of physics, I also managed to learn that universality does exist upon the relativity of truth, right, and wrong. It also brought upon me a brighter pathway to believe in God and His teachings, where then I find a purpose in the life after death. The fact that everything works in plain logic of physics is the perspective of a cold and soulless reality which is one that should not be shared by an entity claiming themselves to be “human”
From debating and model united nations, I understand that almost every argument presented are always in the name of the welfare of the international or national society. Despite the diversity of its practice, there is always a common good. This is exactly why argument and difference in opinion is a very good thing for a democracy. Just like islamic laws.
Interpretations may vary, but as long as they all aim for the purpose prescribed by the entirety of Sharia Law then it is not wrong. It is clear which argument seems to claim to be for the purpose of social welfare or Sharia Law but it is actually sugarcoated selfishness and bigotry. The fact that they can justify in many ways, only means that it is a challenge for the good to fight back and draw the line between the light and the dark.
From the faculty of law, as I have mentioned before, I learned that law is more than a positivistic set of rules which –according to Hans Kelsen—must be completely separated from concepts of justice and welfare or any other considerations behind the making of the law. Law is the institutionalization of good or evil, thus can not separate itself from them. Knowing all regulations is something that anyone can do, but scholars of law should know best that law is clearly so much more –or at least, should be so much more.
So this is who I am. Superman. No, really. In the sense that I believe that there should be a difference between good and bad. I believe that my role is to engage in the development in this concept, and to manifest it in works specifically in the sciences of law. In particular, in the fields of the philosophies and theory of law and international law. I find it important for people to know, especially lawyers –and not to mention that I really love teaching.
So this is who I found myself to be, and the way I fight for the significance of that identity. I am now trying my best, owing to the circumstances at this time, to fight my way to become a professor at law.
Today my faculty has lengthened my name to Fajri Matahati Muhammadin, S.H., but this is not the end of it. Someday that name will be Prof Fajri Matahati Muhammadin, S.H., LL.M., Ph.D., and I will not stop before I get that or die trying.
These are the lessons, dreams and values I have learned during my life in Jogja. With these lessons, dreams, and values, I am ready to fight on the battle of life as a person I have chosen to be.
Everything I got from Jogja could perhaps be summed up to what I said as my life motto in a video made by the Rectorate:
“Secara biologis, kematian adalah realitas yang harus kita terima. Tapi dalam kontribusi, kita dapat memilih untuk hidup selamanya”
(Biologically, death is a reality we must accept. But in contribution, we may choose to live forever)
Boarding time in any minute.
Daerah Istimewa Yogyakarta, I thank you for everything.
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