1995 Memories: Lunch Box Surprise

Ladies and Gentlemen,

today I have a story for you. Its a true story that happened around 1995, when I was in 3rd Grade of Elementary School. This year was a very significant year for me, because at that time I could finally attend a full academic year and able to speak in Bahasa Indonesia fluently. I just returned from England the year before, and was barely able to speak in Bahasa Indonesia.

So. Finally able to speak in Bahasa Indonesia, I socialized so much better than I used to do during the previous year. At the time, we talked about all sorts of things, most of which involves showing something off. Mainly, the kids showed off what cartoons they watch and how they can imitate the characters. Or, lying about having or being able to do something cool. We didnt have much games other than Sega and Nintendo at the time, and nobody even talked about them. So, yeah.

One of the things that I could be proud of and show off to my friends was my packed lunch. My momom was very VERY creative when it comes to making me awesome stuff to eat at school (although I also really loved the siomay that my canteen had). Among the things that my mom likes to make for me would be a sausage sandwich.This was pretty unique, because it is not too known for people to make sausages into sandwiches. Or, at least at that time. Sausages were either eaten with rice/french fries, or put in a hotdog bun. So when I told my friends that tomorrow I will bring a sausage sandwich, they went, like, OH MY GOD HOW DO YOU MAKE A SAUSAGE SANDWICH! IV NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE!!

The next day, early morning while preparing for school, I checked the dining table and there was my sausage sandwich sitting inside my lunchbox. The lid was off because it was still hot. The sight of it, was, Subhanallah

So I smiled, then prepared the other stuff I needed to bring. My red and white uniform, socks, shoes, bag, and all the other stuffs. Then I did this tradition that we still practice until today at home, which is to go upstairs and say goodbye to my grandma and grandpa (but that day, grandpa wasnt home because he was gone for some aerobics for people with heart disease), then to my mom and dad, before I go.

Then, I heard a horn honking infront. 6 am, thats my ride to school. I had to run so that it wouldn’t leave me. I passed by the table, finding that my lunch box has already been closed. I just grabbed it, tucked it in my bag, and ran outside.

I arrived at school around 30 minutes later after picking up other students. Passing my friends, I proudly announced that the Sausage Sandwich is in my bag. They asked to see it, and I said no –they had to wait until break time which was around 9.30-ish. All of us waited for break time enthusiastically for two different reasons. My friends were extremely curious of what a Sausage Sandwich would look like, and I really couldnt wait to show it off.

At last, break time came. Around ten kids came around me to look at what I had for lunch. They always expect something special, because my mom on many occasions makes me stuff that they have never seen before. And now, Sausage Sandwich. Before opening my lunch box, I looked around to see whether everyone who is curious enough has gathered around. After making sure that I had as much attention that I could gather (most of the other kids weren’t too interested, but around ten was good enough for me).

Moving slowly for the suspense, took out my lunchbox, smiled, then opened it. And inside it, I found this:

For a few split seconds, my mind tried to process what just happened. Then for the next few seconds, my entire life was played in front of me. All the things I have done, all the things that I have not done, all the things that I should have done, all the things that I should not have done. Wasnt really much, though, because I was only 8 years old at the time anyway.

But nevertheless, I do not dare to see or even listen to the reactions of my friends, but I just know that its a mixture of laughter and disappointment.

I spent the rest of the day in shame. Everyone was like “mana gak ada sandwich sosis” or “iih Fajri bekal mpeng!” and other stuffs. They didn’t matter. All particles of my brains were, at that time, allocated to figure out what has happened. What have I done to deserve this??!!

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My instinct as a future lecturer of law brought me to start wondering, who the hell did this to me???!!!!!

I had only one piece of evidence, which was the mPeng. Grandpa wasnt home, so he was not on my list. My lawyer-detective instincts took over me, and my mind was racing. I listed the potential suspects.

Candidate Suspect 1

Birth Name : Dini Elfiah

Titles : Mrs/Dra

Ethnicity : Cino-Suroboyo

Age : 32

Relation to Me : Mother (allegedly)

Occupation : Farmer (Judging from photo, might be a cover up)

Alibi : was in kitchen at the time, which was next to the crime scene. But claimed that she had no knowledge of the crime.

Comments:

This woman was the one who prepared my lunch. Had all the accessibility to my lunch box, contents, and has resources to buy and mPeng.

Likeliness to Commit: VERY HIGH

Candidate Suspect 2

Birth Name : Muhammad Amirullah Makmunsyah Oktaufik

Titles : Mr/Ir., Ph.D.,

Ethnicity : African

Age : 35

Relation to Me : Father (allegedly)

Occupation : Something to do with the government

Alibi : claimed to be getting ready for “work” at the time of the crime. Claimed to not have knowledge of the crime.

Comments:

Has a job, seems to work for longer hours than the woman, so perhaps more money, thus more resources to buy an mPeng.

Most inner-city violent crimes are perpetrated by black men (for reference, check here).

Has a Ph.D., very intelligent.

Likeliness to Commit: VERY HIGH

Candidate Suspect 3

Birth Name : Siti Maemunah

Titles : Mrs/Sarjana Hukum

Ethnicity : Unknown

Age : 500

Relation to Me : Mother of Suspect 2

Occupation : Lawyer

Comments:

She is a lawyer. LAWYER. Enuf said. Your argument is invalid.

Alibi: claimed to be on the second level of the building when the crime allegedly took place on the first floor.

Likeliness to Commit: VERY VERY HIGH

Candidate Suspect 4

Birth Name : Maulia Pijarhati Muhammadin

Titles : Liun

Ethnicity : Lalat

Age : 3

Relation to Me : Sister (Still awaiting results of DNA test as evidence)

Occupation : self-employed

Comments:

Intellectual level unknown, motivation unknown, skills unknown.

Known to have a profound interest on chocolate cookies

Alibi: Suspect refused to answer any questions other than with the following statement “apiechu” (the Intelligence Bureau cooperating with Oxford University Professors of Symbology and Freemasonry are currently trying to decrypt this statement)

Bear in mind the principle of “Presumption of Innocence”

(General Explanation Point 3(c) of Law No. 8 of 1981 on Criminal Procedures, and Article 8[1] of Law No. 48 of 2009 on the Judiciary)

Likeliness to Commit: VERY LOW

CONCLUSION OF INVESTIGATION : INCONCLUSIVE