It is a myth that friends always last forever. Friends can come and go more frequently than lovers do. However, friends are one of human’s basic needs.
Watawaa shaubil haq
This is not an easy task. Not every friendship does this. Many would support their friends in falsehood. However, that is not what it is supposed to be like. Friends should remind each other.
Watawaa shaubis sabr
This is the easiest and most popular function of friends. Life is tough. Everyone is tested only within their abilities, but still help only comes from Allah. Surah Al Baqarah ayat 153 tells us that Allah is with those who are patient. Yet Surah Al Asr still obliges us to enjoin/call each other in patience.
This is the easiest to understand, but not everyone knows what lies at the extreme.
Not everyone can make friends easily. It is these people who might be injured even more inside. There are those who seem to crave for attention, but these are the people who are even more injured inside. However, the worst is when a person seems to be a very outgoing person, very active, but shares with none in his immediate surroundings and rather chooses to confide in the most unlikely of friends.
To a common eye, one may ask the person “why cant you talk to anyone else? Why me?” but for the person in question, it is beyond control. This kind of person is dying inside, and to some extremity, close to actually dying. The love that these people crave for is different.
Watawaa shaubis sabr
What does this part of Surah Al Asr mean for this situation? Most friends would back off, as the burden is tough. It is not easy to befriend someone like that, and the more friends leave, the more injured this person becomes.
These people do not show this dark side of themselves in public. Some may say “OMG they are fake, then?”, but more attentive eyes (and hearts) would notice that this as a coping mechanism. Or, for some, a defensive mechanism.
Did you know that, in the silence of their room, they could cry days and nights, slit their wrist, or try to kill themselves because of this? Have you seen anyone like this?
Maybe not. They are the most unlikely of persons, and that is why the wound is even deeper.
Well, I had to witness it. Wasn’t the best view.
If you know someone who seems very bubbly, or at times: overly bubbly, then watch out. That could be the person who is hiding the deepest wound that only the most attentive eyes (and hearts) would notice.
Lecturer at the International Law Department, Fakultas Hukum, Universitas Gadjah Mada
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